First of all please do not worry we are all in the same well. Now start gathering proofs of your innocence and the items you bought for marriage for ex. TV , jewels, flat , car etc with bills. If a case is not filed against you then contact local mens groups / team members and seek the assistance of a lawyer and act fast and don't think they will not file a case or they are good people etc . Most of us got screwed because we thought the wife (family ) is too good; and she will not break our family, it will all be fine soon time will change etc God will help etc.
IF YOU ARE THREATENED BY YOUR IN LAWS U NEED TO TAKE LEGAL STEPS FIRST - THAT DOESN'T MEAN BREAK THE FAMILY AT THE SLIGHTEST THREAT BUT BE ALERT - Remember this golden rule if u cannot / do not want to take the first legal step ( AFTER GETTING REPEATED THREATS FORM WIFE AND IN LAWS) at least have proofs ( audio video , documentary evidence) so that in case they file a case or harass u with cases; u can at least have proofs in court, because later on the court will not listen how much u love her verbally or how innocent you are without any proof.
**** Remember when you know that there are crocodiles why try to swim nude*********
If a case is filed then read a few tips/guidelines below:
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Attend the court regularly. Your EX & Company wants u to be weak, so don't show them that you are afraid in front of them. Meet other victims / attend meetings in your area and slowly you will know how to fight the case. As of now do not talk to them ( ex & family) directly or via phone and if they call record both audio/video if possible for any threats etc.
I am not against settlement or compromise I just want to ensure that you have to accept them withou any force of without being scared by anyone. This things are just to alert you because we have got to know this after committing several mistakes.
Don't show off to your lawyers that you know more just tell them patiently or by giving judgments( found in Internet etc) or tell them this is how it is to be done once u have confirmed with SIF members.
If your ex / her lawyer or your lawyer says they are ready for settlement tell them get it in writing because most of the time they will just make you run around and don't be excited when they say lets compromise till the compromise is over under the supervision of other vicitim and senoir members as far as possible. Because it is not over till it is put on paper and filed in court and till you get a certified copy or the order in hand. REMEMBER THIS AND RECITE IT LOUD TO YOURSELF WHEN THEY SAY LETS CLOSE THE CASE. They try to play all tricks so be very aware.
NEVER SIGN ON ANY BLANK PAPER (GREEN SHEET USED IN COURTS ) SOMETIMES LAWYERS SAY SIGN HERE I WILL FILE ETC. TELL THEM WRITE THE CONTENTS U THEN READ IT AND SIGN.
NEVER SIGN ANY LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL U HAVE READ THEM THOROUGHLY. EPICALLY sometimes in a hurry you are made to sign up and have to repent for a life time. Since you are in a case wait to see the content and only then agree. If they say force you to hurry up and say sign immediately just get out of the situation somehow say I want to go to out stomach pain/ loose motion or not well etc. Make sure you read the papers and only then sign.
IF YOU ARE THREATENED BY YOUR IN LAWS U NEED TO TAKE LEGAL STEPS FIRST - THAT DOESN'T MEAN BREAK THE FAMILY AT THE SLIGHTEST THREAT BUT BE ALERT - Remember this golden rule if u cannot / do not want to take the first legal step ( AFTER GETTING REPEATED THREATS FORM WIFE AND IN LAWS) at least have proofs ( audio video , documentary evidence) so that in case they file a case or harass u with cases; u can at least have proofs in court, because later on the court will not listen how much u love her verbally or how innocent you are without any proof.
**** Remember when you know that there are crocodiles why try to swim nude*********
If a case is filed then read a few tips/guidelines below:
******************************
Attend the court regularly. Your EX & Company wants u to be weak, so don't show them that you are afraid in front of them. Meet other victims / attend meetings in your area and slowly you will know how to fight the case. As of now do not talk to them ( ex & family) directly or via phone and if they call record both audio/video if possible for any threats etc.
* Do not show your fear anxiety to your family members and parents. Your family members need to be happy at all costs.
* Be courageous and tell your family members that we should not be afraid because the people who are doing this should be brought to task in the court.
*Do not attempt to do anything silly like suicide etc. If we all did then no one would be able to help.
*Do not attempt to do anything silly like suicide etc. If we all did then no one would be able to help.
*You need to be in top shape. So take to Yoga, Pranayam, Meditation, Gym, Mosque , Church, Temple etc + some activity like helping others within your capacity directly or indirectly.
*Do not show your fear to lawyers or argue with them unnecessarily tell them we will fight and if they want to compromise subject to two conditions
*Do not show your fear to lawyers or argue with them unnecessarily tell them we will fight and if they want to compromise subject to two conditions
a) if it is within your limit
b) and in your terms you will compromise.
*Never show anger or frustration in court to the EX & Company. Just keep smiling and they will break one day because of lies and their deeds.
With Proofs ( Documentary ):
Keep at least 2 copies of the proofs notarized with you one with a very very trusted source and the original in a safe location. Tell the lawyer you can give only notarized copies and if he ask for original tell u will get in in the court. Show only 75% of the proofs to the lawyer till the evidence stage comes and give the 25% ones in the end so that the enemy and all other tricksters if any will get screwed.
Unless true friends or other real victims recommends a lawyer don't trust them blindly till you are out of the case and don't think the lawyer will be faithful. Not all lawyers are like this but you need to protect yourself first. Be alert always because there are a very few good lawyers you can trust these days. You will be usually pushed or forced to compromise by telling that you or your family members will go to jail if you dont pay money to her / compromise or give divorce etc. These are the first signs that you should see the advise of another lawyer just be aware when they start saying that your case is week etc Remember its a lawyers duty is to protect his client.
*Never show anger or frustration in court to the EX & Company. Just keep smiling and they will break one day because of lies and their deeds.
With Proofs ( Documentary ):
Keep at least 2 copies of the proofs notarized with you one with a very very trusted source and the original in a safe location. Tell the lawyer you can give only notarized copies and if he ask for original tell u will get in in the court. Show only 75% of the proofs to the lawyer till the evidence stage comes and give the 25% ones in the end so that the enemy and all other tricksters if any will get screwed.
Unless true friends or other real victims recommends a lawyer don't trust them blindly till you are out of the case and don't think the lawyer will be faithful. Not all lawyers are like this but you need to protect yourself first. Be alert always because there are a very few good lawyers you can trust these days. You will be usually pushed or forced to compromise by telling that you or your family members will go to jail if you dont pay money to her / compromise or give divorce etc. These are the first signs that you should see the advise of another lawyer just be aware when they start saying that your case is week etc Remember its a lawyers duty is to protect his client.
I am not against settlement or compromise I just want to ensure that you have to accept them withou any force of without being scared by anyone. This things are just to alert you because we have got to know this after committing several mistakes.
Don't show off to your lawyers that you know more just tell them patiently or by giving judgments( found in Internet etc) or tell them this is how it is to be done once u have confirmed with SIF members.
If your ex / her lawyer or your lawyer says they are ready for settlement tell them get it in writing because most of the time they will just make you run around and don't be excited when they say lets compromise till the compromise is over under the supervision of other vicitim and senoir members as far as possible. Because it is not over till it is put on paper and filed in court and till you get a certified copy or the order in hand. REMEMBER THIS AND RECITE IT LOUD TO YOURSELF WHEN THEY SAY LETS CLOSE THE CASE. They try to play all tricks so be very aware.
Note: Am innocent man cannot do much if he is cheated by thugs but his only weapon is to be alert. Tell everyone that the case is going on we are ready to compromise and I also want to get out of this case as soon as possible. Just be a good guy or act like one in front them till the case is over.
In the court room always be calm and see the judge ( dont stare at him :-) ) the EX & Company sometimes try's to make you say something or stare at them just forget them for that day. Relax and being cool in the court room. I know this is difficult but why not try and stay relaxed as far as possible.
NEVER SIGN ON ANY BLANK PAPER (GREEN SHEET USED IN COURTS ) SOMETIMES LAWYERS SAY SIGN HERE I WILL FILE ETC. TELL THEM WRITE THE CONTENTS U THEN READ IT AND SIGN.
NEVER SIGN ANY LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL U HAVE READ THEM THOROUGHLY. EPICALLY sometimes in a hurry you are made to sign up and have to repent for a life time. Since you are in a case wait to see the content and only then agree. If they say force you to hurry up and say sign immediately just get out of the situation somehow say I want to go to out stomach pain/ loose motion or not well etc. Make sure you read the papers and only then sign.
Pay per date/hearing and NOT LUMP SUM amount as far as possible to lawyers ( because you are in a finincial crisis). Some good lawyers ( the one I have currently) in my case I have split the amount for stages. Like by evidence I will pay 1/4 or then 1/4 after cross examanation and so on. See how you can pay split payments with your lawyer. Most lawyers accept if you tell them your position.
Attend all law / RTI meetings which are for the benifit of the publicor programs in your area or on TV.
Attend all law / RTI meetings which are for the benifit of the publicor programs in your area or on TV.
Disclaimer: All the contents of this mail and the replies sent by SIS members are in good faith and to help victims. Please consult SIS members and your well wishers before you take any decision. We are not liable for any legal or issues that might arise out of our suggestions. I do not intent to hurt any lawyers or women it is just to ensure that no one is cheated and for the sake of public good.
Only for those who are ordered to pay maintenance in divorce cases:
Please pay it to the judges account for every court there is a Judges account for example in Bangalore for civil court the DD should be made in the name of "Principal Judge Family court Bangalore" . Please check with the lawyer or the file room / cash branch of your respective court. If you give a DD in the name of the judge and it is a valid as per law (C.P.C) to pay maintenance this way. For those who need more info I will upload a sample DD image and the covering letter so that you just give the DD in the court and get a seal on the cover letter. The cover letter ( in 2 copies) will say that you are making maintenance payment for your case no: XXXX/XX with DD's date and details. That's all.
Keep a track of all the DD dates and the dates when you paid to the court. This is very important you should have these details with you always.
For guys who are under the threat of DV act please contact SIS members and lawyer immediately. I do not have more information currently and will post if I get at a later date.
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Hope this helps.
Hope this helps.
Keep helping other victims.
God bless you and your family members.
Regards,
